The Power of Thanks

I believe objects are inanimate. I talk to myself, but not often to my things. The other day as I placed some clothing into my donate bag, I said, “Thanks for your service.” Unsurprisingly the clothing didn’t respond, but I was surprised that I felt better about letting it go. 

Saying “thank you” is something we do at the completion of things—receiving a gift, eating a meal, checking out at the grocery store. In the case of my clothes, saying thank you was for my benefit. It helped finalize my decision to let it go. My clothing had completed its mission. 

Today's TimelyTips address the power of thanks. 

Timely Tips regarding the power of thanks

COMPLETING THEIR MISSION
Through the years our needs, interests, abilities, and preferences change. This requires adding new and subtracting the old items that have completed their mission.

If you find it helpful, finalize your relationship with the old things by thanking them for their service.

If they still have some “mission” left in them, donate them so they can once again find a place of use. 

SUBTRACTING IS ADDING

• By subtracting things that complete their mission, you’re adding space.

• You no longer cringe when opening cabinet doors and drawers.

• It’s easier to find and access what you need.

• You save money not replacing things you can’t find—pantry items, clothes, tools, etc.

• You’re not distracted from things you enjoy by piles of stuff waiting to be dealt with.

• You can be at peace opening your door to guests.

All triggers for giving thanks.

Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

In this season of thanks, I want to share a remarkable true story.

In the early 1940s when Nazi Germany invaded Holland, Corrie ten Boom and her family began the dangerous mission of hiding Jews and helping them escape. Corrie’s family was eventually arrested. When she and her sister, Betsie, arrived at Ravensbruck concentration camp, their “beds” were rancid straw-covered platforms stacked three high and infected with fleas. 

“How can we live in such a place?” cried Corrie. Betsie immediately reached for the small Bible the sisters had smuggled in. Turning to 1 Thessalonians 5:18 she had Corrie read, “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Corrie resisted Betsie’s urge to thank God in the midst of fleas, but in time they realized it was the fleas that kept the abusive guards at bay, protecting them and allowing them to share the comforting, hope-giving word of God with the women who shared their desperate situation. 

Corrie was the only one of her family to survive and see freedom again. Her testimony is this, “There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.”

This Thanksgiving season you may be in despair or facing big challenges. May Corrie’s testimony draw you to Jesus and His life-giving word. (You can read Corrie ten Boom’s entire story in the book The Hiding Place.)

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Wise words

Every experience God gives us…is the perfect preparation for the future only He can see. –Corrie ten Boom

School Memorabilia--Burden or Blessing?

My first parent volunteer position at Webster was school Historian. I didn’t know many teachers and had yet to meet our new principal. I decided to begin my chronicle with a pictorial directory of the staff.     

One by one I connected with each to get a picture. As I was photographing the principal, I realized my 35 mm camera had no film in it (good ole 90s). Not only was I mortified in the moment, but I also had to go back and admit my incompetence to each of the teachers, asking if I could retake their photos. Chalk one up to most embarrassing moments.

By the end of 1989-90 school year, I had produced a pictorial album which resided in the office—until someone, who was apparently good at purging, let it go. I wouldn’t expect the school to store 30+ years of school memorabilia, but that’s one thing I would love to see again. 
            
Our children’s school years can be overwhelming when it comes to accumulating memorabilia. Today's Timely Tips have three “D’s” for managing keepsakes.

Timely Tips to manage kids’ keepsakes

Used with permission from Melissa Corriveau at Life with Less Mess

1. DECIDE ON CRITERIA

Start with the end in mind. Not many of us would say, “I wish my parents had saved more of my childhood stuff.” What things do you love seeing when you open a box from the past? Include those in your criteria.

• Keep a sampling of things which give insight into your child’s thoughts, personality, development, and skills.

• Include special artwork, story writing, awards, report cards, “About Me” assignments, teacher notes, photos, etc.

• They should all recollect pleasant memories.

• Worksheets, tests, participation ribbons, artwork with macaroni and glitter are good candidates for the can.

• Even if your child wants to save everything now, her future self will thank you for not. One organized bin is a blessing. Multiple bins is a project. 

Memory Box Kits available from Melissa on Etsy.com

2. DESIGNATE A PLACE

• Use a labeled binder with pocket folders (one for each school week) for papers/assignments the teacher requires students to keep.

• Designate a labeled tray, magazine holder, or bin to temporarily capture items that are waiting to be sorted.

• Keep both these items in the hub of your home so you can easily access them. 

• For items that fit your keepsake criteria create a Memory Bin using a file box (18 1/2" L x 14" W x 11" H available at Target/office supply stores).

• Prepare it with hanging folders labeled Preschool, Kindergarten, 1st Grade through high school. You may customize with additional folders depending on your child’s interests and activities. (Kits available on Etsy)

• If it doesn’t fit in a handy place, like the child’s closet, use a 16-quart bin to temporarily store keepsakes. Relocate into the Memory Bin file at the end of the year.

• Use the Memory Bin as the boundary and purge as necessary so that your child will have one bin (blessing) instead of multiple bins (burden) in the end. 

Photo by Jerry Wang on Unsplash

DEVELOP A SYSTEM 

• Daily remove papers from the child’s backpack and do a quick sort into the teacher binder, Memory Bin, or recycling can.

• On crazy days use your temporary holding tray/bin.

• Schedule time at the end of each week to sort your temporary bin. Relocate items to their proper places.

• When age-appropriate, train your child to do this. (Our job is to work ourselves out of a job.) 

EXTRA CREDIT

• Create photo books of your child’s keepsakes.

• Place each item on a white foam board. Snap a photo with your phone.

• Upload to a photo book website and if desired, add text.

• You’ll reduce the amount of storage space by 90% and you and your child will be more likely to peruse the keepsakes you’ve preserved in this format. 

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Comical Words

Respect your parents. They passed school without Google. -Anonymous

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Here are a few things I love seeing from my 2nd grade year: my toothless grin, a report card, a note from the principal, and a program from our neighborhood play called "Keep Out." Less is more!

Sometimes it's the Little Things

Walking around the extended recliner, I jammed my “this little piggy had none” toe on the leg of the coffee table. Normally I don’t pay much attention to my toes. This little piggy changed that.

It also changed things like our next day's hiking plans. Fortunately, we were able to convert to biking in Yosemite instead. Another time it meant being dropped off with the older folks near the entrance at a concert. It still means deciding how badly I need an item from the other room before putting my toe through the pain of getting there.

It's often the little things in our lives and homes that cause angst and frustration. When it’s a toe—you wait it out. Here are seven quick fix Timely Tips for other subtle, or not so subtle stresses we face.

Timely Tips to fix your frustrations

1. Matching—How many containers and lids must you handle before finding a match? Are you ready to throw out the leftovers before you find one?

• Store the lids on the containers. It takes more space, but by the time you eliminate all the containers and lids that have no match, there should be room.

• This goes for sippy cups and water bottles, too.

2. New Stuff—Are you tripping over shopping bags and boxes of items waiting to be homed?

• Before you put anything into your digital or physical cart, decide exactly where it’s going to be stored.

• Unload bags and boxes immediately into their predetermined homes. 

3. User-friendly Storage—Is it hard to find things or put them away in your closet, pantry or drawers?

• One common culprit is bad lighting. Add a stick-on motion sensor rechargeable strip light to any closet, cabinet, or pantry that has no or poor lighting.

• Fix closet doors and drawers that don’t open and close easily.  

• Purge drawers and shelves that are jammed full.

• Use open-topped bins for things you use regularly. 

4. Clothes—Tired of piles of clothes?

• Place a dirty clothes bin in the closet.

• Assign a spot on the bar for empty hangers.

• Assign a bin or hook for frequently worn clothes.

• Change clothes in the closet. Without having to move much, you can put your dirty stuff in the bin and hang up or put on the shelf your cleanish clothes and voilà! No more piles.

5. Bedtime—Is the kids’ bedtime a nightmare?

• Create a bedtime routine chart with a start and end time

• Establish “last call” for snacks so the bathing, brushing teeth, stories, etc. can be done without interruption.

• Consistency is key to everyone getting the rest they need.

6. Location, Location, Location—Do you need to move other things or use a step stool to reach things you use often?

• I relocated a client’s baggies and wraps to a top drawer from a lower drawer in her kitchen. She still talks about what a difference that made—small thing, big pay-off.

• Pay attention to what frustrates you and consider where it might be more convenient.

7. Tasks—Are you frustrated with not getting things done on time? Is it paying bills, checking the kids’ school papers, laundry?

• Schedule a regular time to do it and put it on the calendar with reminders so that, until it becomes routine, you won’t forget.

• Calendar blocks of time for tasks that take several hours. 

You might have noticed three common themes among many of these solutions—creating homes, limits, and routines. These are gold in the organizing world. Whenever you feel stressed, stop and consider—is there a home, limit, or routine solution for this issue? 

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wise words

Frustration is the fuel that can lead to the development of an innovative and useful idea. – Marley Dias

Playing Puzzle

It seems strange to me that I don’t like puzzles. A couple of our kids do, so before our family gathered for a week at Hume Lake, my husband purchased a 1,000-piece puzzle. When they dumped the box of pieces onto the table, it looked overwhelming to me. 

“That must be how some of my clients feel when they view their clutter,” I thought. I’d rather organize the cabin’s kitchen (which I did to a degree), than participate in “playing puzzle” as we called it.

Despite my disdain for puzzles, there are many correlations between puzzling and organizing. Here are six Timely Tips to help with both. 

Timely Tips for puzzling and organizing

1. KEEP THE BOX TOP HANDY
It’s essential to know what your puzzle will look like. Similarly, when organizing you need a vision of your final outcome.

Determine how your area will look, feel, and function. Revisit that vision while organizing to drive your actions and stay focused and motivated. 

2. DESIGNATE A TIME AND PLACE
For our night owl puzzlers, it was 10 pm to midnight. They used a puzzle board and moved it under a bed during the day so little hands couldn’t disturb it.

Schedule your organizing when you have the most energy and least distractions.

If your project is mobile, like a box of paperwork, photos, etc., consider bringing it out to the table or a comfy chair and then return it to a spare room or closet when you’re not working on it. 

3. SORT BY COLOR AND PATTERN
This is tedious, but a necessary step in puzzling. The puzzle board they used had shallow drawers to sort and store the colors. This made it easier to find specific pieces.

Likewise, it’s important to sort while organizing—putting like things together. Use containers to separate categories.

Unlike a puzzle, some of your items may be placed into a donate or trash category. 

4. BORDERS FIRST 
The puzzle pieces with a straight side are low hanging fruit—easier to spot and position.  All other pieces fit inside that border.

Whether you’re organizing a bathroom cabinet or a desk drawer, borders are essential. Some are natural borders, like a bookshelf. If the desired outcome is to have all the books neat and accessible on the shelf, then the shelf size dictates the border and how many books you keep.

A finished puzzle doesn’t have pieces spilling over the border, and neither does an organized area. 

5. PERSEVERE 
One of the puzzle pieces looked like an easy fit on the deer, but it was stubborn when they tried to place it. It took several attempts before it was successfully positioned.

In organizing it’s sometimes the opposite. You think, “that will never fit there.” Don’t give up before you try. After you remove things that don’t belong, it often fits fine. 

6. DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT 
After hours of laborious puzzling, it was finally complete. Well, almost. One piece was missing. We searched high and low, but in the end they had to be content with an almost perfect picture.

Don’t allow perfection to ruin your organizing ventures. Unlike puzzles, there’s not just one right place for everything. If your belongings are now easier to find and use, consider it a win!

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comical words

I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years! --Unknown

Closed for Inventory

Taking inventory isn’t much fun. In fact, the process can put shepherds right to sleep. Businesses find it essential to track what they have, but what about our homes? 

Most of us don’t think about a home inventory until it’s requested. Usually that means something stressful has happened—a fire, flood, theft, divorce, etc. During those events, it’s not as easy to think clearly and concisely. 

As with most projects we’d rather not do, we need a little motivation to get us going. Consider the cost verses benefit. The cost doesn’t need to be more than the time it takes to create it. If you choose to use an inventory app, you might have a financial investment as well. 

Benefits include accelerating the claim process after an incident, maximizing your claim payment because you won’t be relying on your memory, ensuring that your insurance coverage is adequate, and general peace of mind. 

If your scale tips on the benefits side, here are some Timely Tips to get it done.

Timely Tips to create a home inventory

Photo by Kampus Production

RESOURCES:

• Go to your homeowner’s insurance website or contact your agent to see what resources they offer.

• For a digital method, check out this list of home inventory apps at www.BobVila.com.

Photo by Engin Akyurt

FOR HIGH TICKET ITEMS INCLUDE:

• A description of the item--make, model, serial number, as applicable

• Value/appraisal

• Purchase place and date

• Receipt

Unless you’re already a meticulous record keeper, you may not have or know all that. At least you’ll have the item listed and can choose to record these things for new, incoming purchases.  

Excel Template

CREATE YOUR LIST

• Google "home inventory spreadsheets" for templates you can use digitally or print out and use on paper. Your Excel program offers templates as well.

• Or, go old school with a yellow pad and clipboard--either works!

• Label each page either by room or category.

• Make columns for Item Name, Location, Description, and Price. Include high ticket information columns, as needed. 

• Include in your inventory the contents of outside sheds, attics, basements, off-site storage units, and safe deposit boxes.

Photo by Rachel Claire 

PHOTOS & RECEIPTS

• Photograph the items and store them in a digital folder labeled with the room or category name.

• If using paper, print the photos and store with the paper inventory list in a sheet protector.

• You may choose to photograph an entire drawer or shelf rather than individual items and, for instance list the total number of pants, shirts, and shoes. List expensive items separately.

• Scan and name coordinating receipts and save in the digital folder or keep hard copies in the sheet protector with the inventory list. A photocopy of the receipt will be less likely to fade over time. 

VIDEOTAPE YOUR INVENTORY

• An alternative method is to videotape your inventory while describing the items and zooming in on details such as serial numbers and accompanying receipts.

Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

STORE A COPY

• Upload your home inventory digital files or video to an email folder or cloud storage.

• Or, transfer them to a flash drive and/or external hard drive. Keep one off-site. 

• Photocopy your paper inventory sheets/photos/receipts and create and label two binders.

• Keep one and place the other in a safe deposit box or at the home of a trusted friend or family member.

UPDATE

• Update when significant changes are made.

Photo by Kampus Production

INSURANCE CHECK:

• Confirm with your agent that your policy is adequate to cover the replacement value rather than cash value of your belongings.

• Inquire about sub-limits as some policies have coverage limits i.e., theft coverage for jewelry and watches. In this case you may need to do an add-on to ensure you’ll receive their full value. 

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wise words

The best way to enjoy your favorite things is to only own your favorite things.

--bemorewithless.com

Cue the Rewards

I didn’t need someone to tell me to bend at the knees when lifting, sit up straight at my desk, and stand every hour. But, when I requested physical therapy for some back and hip issues I got a video appointment, basic instructions like those above, and some exercises imbedded in an online matrix that took me a week to find. 

Fortunately for me, my symptoms greatly diminished during the six-week waitfor my appointment and “treatment.” Unfortunately, so did my motivation to follow through with the exercises. I knew that if I didn’t create a new habit for doing them, they wouldn’t get done.

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear suggests four simple steps for creating a habit: cue, craving, response, and reward.

Timely Tips to create a habit

CUE: Clear says our minds are reward detectors. You might spot desired rewards for your career, family life, spiritual or physical well-being, etc. My cue was hearing from a friend about the pain relief she experienced from physical therapy. 

CRAVING: “Without some level of motivation or desire… we have no reason to act,” says Clear.  “What you crave is not the habit itself but the change in state it delivers.” I was not craving a new exercise routine, but I was craving physical well-being. 

RESPONSE: The third step is doing the action that leads to the reward. "The crucial part to success," says Clear, "lies in the strength of the craving and how much friction is associated with the behavior.”

My craving diminished with my symptoms. I experienced friction trying to keep the online session from expiring before I was able to get from one exercise to the next. 

I knew my symptoms would return so I pressed on with my new routine and found a way to print out the instructions, reducing the friction. 

REWARD: The reward is the end goal--the result of the response. It’s a little early for me to see the reward I crave. As with most habits, it’s a process that requires patience and perseverance. 

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What cues and cravings surfaced in your mind lately?

• Do you crave the way the kitchen feels after the housekeeper does her magic and the counters are clear?

• Do you crave the simplicity of your hotel bathroom that has everything you need in one make-up case?

• Do you crave the peace of mind knowing what you’re going to have for dinner before 5:00 PM?

Your response is the key.

• Believe the reward is attainable.

• Identify and reduce the friction--things making the response difficult.

• Know when help is needed.***

• Commit to and take action.

***One thing I was hoping for in physical therapy was hands-on, eyes-on help. Someone to come alongside and guide my steps and actions. Someone to see how I’m doing things and show me how I can change and improve. 

This is what I do. I provide hands-on, eyes-on organizing help for my clients. No judgement, no guilt, just help. If this is what you need, visit the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO.NET) to find an organizer near you. Or, if you're in the Central Valley of California contact me (OrganizedByChoice.com).

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wise words

Lasting wins require a lifestyle.   —James Clear

How to Handle Sneaky Clutter

I’m at the age when it helps having magnification while applying makeup. The other day I noticed I was squatting ever so slightly to align my face with my pull-out adjustable mirror. See the problem? I was adjusting instead of having my adjustable mirror do the work. 

Sometimes we do that with our clutter. We step over or reach around our clutter instead of adjusting it. We put something down instead of away because there’s no space for it.  

I could have altered my posture instead of my mirror for quite some time before feeling it. Eventually, my back or neck would have told me something was amiss. Clutter and its effects don’t happen overnight. It tends to be sneaky and go unnoticed for a while.   

If you’re feeling stressed, frustrated, anxious, or distracted, there could be a plethora of causes. Don’t discount sneaky clutter, or the fact that de-cluttering will free your mind to focus on other contributing issues. 

Perfection is never the goal. Creating an environment that allows you to move freely, tidy-up easily, and have more peace and productivity is. Here are four TIMELY TIPS to take control of sneaky clutter rather than adjusting to it. Commit four weeks to this process and enjoy the benefits. 

Timely Tips to handle sneaky clutter

FIND THE FLOOR

Every day pick up and put away one thing that landed on the floor but doesn’t belong there. It may be clothing, surplus paper products, a suitcase waiting to be unpacked, a basket of clean laundry, etc. Start with the least cluttered floor area. Stick with that space each day until completed. Seeing the clear floor is motivation for the next area. Take Sundays off. 

COUNT OFF COUNTERS

Identify four cluttered countertops or flat surfaces—kitchen, bathroom(s), guest bed, laundry, desk, entry table, dining table, etc. Choose one to work on each week. Set your timer for ten minutes per weekday or fifty minutes on Saturday and de-clutter away. 

SEIZE MORE SPACE

You may feel like you don't have room to spare, but there's probably a shelf, cabinet, or closet with some low hanging fruit--and by fruit, I mean space.

During your four-week attack on sneaky clutter survey your cabinets and closets looking for hidden space. It might currently be storing empty electronics boxes you saved from five years ago in case you needed to return them. It might have college binders and textbooks or VHS movies. Maybe there are boxes of canning jars or other supplies from a long gone hobby. 

Choose an area and schedule one hour to purge and recover that valuable space. This will provide places for homeless items you discover on your floor and flat surfaces. 

PEDDLE YOUR PAPER

Paper is often the sneakiest and fastest growing form of clutter. Pretend it’s all currency and that the sooner it arrives at its destination, the sooner the pay-off. 

Paper has only four destinations—recycle, shred, file, and a holding place for active paperwork (bills, forms, RSVPs, etc.).

During these four weeks, commit to handling incoming paper daily instead of tossing them on the nearest flat surface. It will pay off. Click here for a Piles to Files tip sheet.

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wise words

Clutter is nothing more than postponed decisions. --Barbara Hemphill

Controlling the Past

Sometimes when writing an article, the title comes to me first. Such was the case today. While waiting for the rest to come, I Googled “Controlling the Past,” curious what I’d find. Lo and behold, I came across this quote from Orwell’s book 1984. 

“He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past.” George Orwell (1984) 

I’m sure there are many layers to this quote that have nothing to do with organizing, but it serves as a framework for today’s topic. How we control our stuff in the present affects both our past and our future. 

One might consider this application is for seniors, but everyone should pay attention since we don’t know the number of our days. What you do with your stuff today, controls how your past will be remembered, and what will be required of others in the future.

Timely Tips to control the past, present, and future

Photo by Julius Drost on Unsplash

PAST—If someone were to come into your home today and write your eulogy based solely on what they found, how would that read?

Your stuff tells a story. Is it obvious what you value most? Do you have things that reflect or tell about people, events, and experiences that impacted your life?

Are they easily accessible and displayed in ways that demonstrate their value? Are they stashed away in random boxes, buried under miscellaneous clutter? 

I recall a client who had, among other things, a collection of corks from her father who died from alcoholism. Getting rid of the corks didn’t change the past, but it removed that reminder. When you control the stuff from your past you control the narrative it communicates. 

I’m not suggesting that you keep only things that paint a rosy picture. You have may items that trigger thoughts of battling through cancer or a job loss but remind you of the strength of character you developed or people who supported you through that time.

FUTURE—By controlling our past stuff we impact the future. I’ve worked with clients who were “gifted” houses, garages, shops, and storage units full of stuff when their parents passed. 

Today I received a call from a woman seeking help for her mother. Her grandmother recently passed, and her mom is trying to make space in her house for the grandmother’s things. I sensed the burden this woman felt knowing that in a matter of years, it would all be hers to deal with. 

A greater gift is to leave behind only what you value most. Your family will appreciate the Reader’s Digest version of the story your belongings tell. 

Photo by Nico Smit on Unsplash

PRESENT—It’s never too early to look around your home and begin identifying your treasures while letting go of the superfluous. What’s on your bookshelves, in your curio cabinets, and stuffed into closets? Is there something in the garage or storage that you’d like to pull out and enjoy now, or make sure it’s noticed when you’re gone? No one knows better than you what you value.

Can a photo of you doing your hobby or sport tell the story just as well or better than the items you no longer use? Give yourself permission to let them go, remembering what that does for your loved ones in the future.

In the process, don’t be hurt if people don’t want your stuff. Remember—it’s your stuff. Donating usable items is a great way to get it into the hands of someone who will treasure it.

This isn’t a quick and easy task, but neither is it for loved ones who must take vacation days to go through your stuff if you don’t. If it feels overwhelming, I can help.

Remember: He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past. 

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wise words

If everything's precious, then nothing's precious. -Unknown

Does that mean I'm lazy?

Last week I had the opportunity to do a day of substitute teaching for my daughter who homeschools her girls. Fortunately, for me, their math doesn’t include long division yet. Yep, sadly that’s when math began to get hard for me. This eliminated careers that weigh heavy on math skills. Fine with me.  

It doesn’t however eliminate the need for math in everyday life. Does the fact that I whip out my calculator to determine the tip and the person at the table next to me does it in her head mean I’m lazy? I don’t think so. Learning math basics and having useful tools makes life as an underachiever doable. 

Each of us is created with a unique set of skills and abilities. Not many of us sing on stage, but we can all join in on a chorus of “Happy Birthday” at family parties. What’s natural for some, isn’t for others.

It’s similar with organizing strengths. Some naturally alphabetize their spices, while others feel lucky if they can find their salt and pepper. Does this mean they’re lazy? I don’t think so. Having a natural ability to organize doesn’t make you a better person any more than being strong in math does.

Yet for many, being disorganized is a matter of shame. Here are some Timely Tips to reduce shame and increase productivity.

Timely Tips to reduce shame and increase productivity

Who’s defining “disorganized” for you? Is it based on the most organized person you know? Is it based on the expectations of a parent or an in-law? Is it a TV show or YouTuber? 

Christina Scalise says, “Organization isn’t about perfection it’s about efficiency, reducing stress and clutter, saving time and money and improving your overall quality of life.” What that looks like and how it’s achieved can vary a great deal. 

If your quality of life depends on having an art project continually going, your space will look different than the person whose interest is golfing. You may have a plethora of art supplies but know exactly where to find each item. To the average observer it may look messy, but to you it’s functional.

To maintain a busy work and home schedule your laundry organizing may consist of baskets for dirty, and baskets for clean that the family draws from as needed. Your neighbor may use the Kondo folding technique for each pair of underwear and socks. If the baskets are efficient for this phase of life—so be it. 

Your organizational skills may be minimal but adequate to maintain the quality of life you desire. Matching your neighbor’s standard isn’t the goal. 

Art Room Before & After

However, you may be struggling with stress, wasted time looking for things and feeling like your home isn’t supporting the life you want. You’re not a failure. Remember, we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Disorganization is not a respecter of persons and even hits those who are naturally organized. 

Envision your own standard of function for your home and write down what that would look like. Seek the help of a friend, a professional (like me!), a book, or YouTuber that has the expertise you’re lacking. 

Resource books: 

• Organizing for the Creative Person, Dorothy Lehmkuhl & Dolores Cotter Lamping C.S.W.

• It’s All Too Much, Peter Walsh

• Organizing Plain & Simple, Donna Smallin

• ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life, Judith Kohlberg & Kathleen Nadeau

• Organizing from the Inside Out, Julie Morgenstern

wise words

“Organizing is not nearly as important as many other things in life, but what it delivers is often priceless.” -Sandra Felton (messies.com)

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A word to those who are naturally organized. Be gracious with those in your life who aren't. Value their strengths and contributions. If they ask for help, do so with respect for their standards, even if they're different than yours. 

Hide Your Clutter

When multiple stimuli appear simultaneously in the visual field, they are not processed independently, but rather interact in a mutually suppressive way, suggesting that they compete for neural representation in visual cortex. -Diane M. Beck, Department of Psychology and the Center for the Study of Brain, Mind, and Behavior, Princeton University, www.pubmed.gov.

In layman’s terms this means clutter effects more than our environment. It effects our brains and well-being. I don’t need university studies to tell me that, my clients do.

“When I look at my clutter, I feel overwhelmed.”

“It’s hard to relax when I see all the piles I need to deal with.”

“I tell my friends I can’t go out because I need to stay home and organize. Then I end up sitting on the couch avoiding the task.”

“I’m so distracted. I bounce around from one thing to another and never finish anything. It’s so frustrating.”

When you walk into your house, what do you see? If it’s piles, every pile represents a task—papers to process, laundry to fold, books to read, toys to put away, projects to complete, sport gear to relocate. Being reminded of so many tasks at once can be overwhelming.

Everyone has a different level of comfort when it comes to visual clutter. Even if you’re more tolerant than most, you’ve probably experienced the stress of piles melding, making it difficult to find what you need. 

Release the idea that your piles are motivating you to take care of business. They may be reminding you, but in a way that adds to your stress as they “compete for neural representation.”

How does “hiding your clutter” help? I don’t mean stash it all away and forget about it. Remove it from your common areas in a systematic way so you can deal with the tasks within the clutter.

Timely Tips for hiding your clutter (with purpose)

Containerize your clutter by project in clearly labeled boxes, bags, or bins. These will be temporary holding places for your piles.

For paper clutter, keep current bills, forms, etc. in a container separate from old mail and papers to be dealt with later. Label one Current Papers, and one Old Papers. Place the Current Papers container where you normally pay bills and download my Piles to Files tip sheet. 

Designate an area in a spare room or closet for the Old Papers container along with the other labeled containers of special projects, household sort/relocate, etc. Remember, this is a temporary holding place. It’s okay if it adds to the clutter of a closed room or closet temporarily. 

This provides immediate clutter relief for your common areas. Since you’re keeping your clutter containers together in their temporary holding place, you’ll be able to locate anything that was removed. But you’re not finished!

Prioritize the containers on a sheet of paper, computer document, or phone note. Schedule time to deal with each container on your calendar and add a reminder to your phone. Your calendar and reminders will be the trigger to retrieve each project in order, one at a time.

Your clutter-free common areas will allow you to enjoy your space when you’re not working on a project and will help you be more productive and focused when you are. 

wise words

Your home is your haven. Reduce clutter so you feel relaxed the minute you walk in the door. -Yuriko Beamon

Sorry Derrel

Sorry Derrel, it’s nothing personal. Part of my disappointment in seeing your “Here we grow again!” sign in our community was that they aren’t replanting an orchard where the orange trees once grew. You’re “growing” a mini storage facility instead. 

According to Neighbor.com, self storage is a growing industry. The US 2019 annual revenue topped $39 billion with 1.7 billion square feet of rentable space at an average of $88/unit/month (about $1,000/year). 

In my business, when clients are ready to empty their storage, they’ve often spent thousands of dollars storing what ends up being mostly donations and trash. Things they could live without, but didn’t.

Let’s look at some Timely Tips that validate the storage industry, show where the pitfalls lie and how to avoid them. 

Timely Tips for self storage

Photo by Adam Winger on Unsplash

Business Storage

• Self storage is a valid option for businesses with minimal warehousing needs:

  • Products

  • Supplies

  • Archived records 

• Pitfalls: 

  • No one responsible for monitoring contents 

  • The risk of running out or purchasing too much higher since not on site

  • Poorly labeled archives or no “Destroy After” dates, cause a buildup and need for additional storage 

• Solutions:

  • Establish a system and person responsible for monitoring inventory 

  • Check with legal/tax professionals to determine “Destroy After” dates for archived documents

  • Label and date boxes accordingly 

  • As you bring in a new year of archived docs, remove those ready for shredding

Photo by Thom Gonzalez

RV/Boat Storage

• Offsite storage for large RVs and boats is necessary for most city folk

• Some facilities offer:

  • Covered spaces

  • Wash racks

  • Dump stations 

• Alternative: rent space from a neighbor  www.neighbor.com/rv-storage-near-me 

• If you have a single spot that you frequent on RV trips, consider renting a space in that location to save gas money

• Pitfalls:

  • Interests, activities, and abilities change through the seasons of life

  • If using your RV or boat is a seldom if ever occasion, the cost of upkeep and storage may outweigh the benefit  

• Solution: Do the math to decide if you want to continue your investment 

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Personal Storage "I'll just put this here for now"

• Valid needs--I'll just...

  • store a few things while the house is for sale

  • move some things to storage during our remodel

  • put Grandma’s things in storage until we decide who gets what

  • store my stuff until after we combine households and see what we need 

• Pitfalls:

  • No urgency in retrieving the items since they're not things you use every day

  • The kids might want it someday

  • You might have a yard sale

  • What's out of sight is out of mind

  • Short-term turns into long-term storage

  • Easier to write a check than to sort through all those boxes (feels overwhelming)

  • As storage costs increase, the value of your belongings decreases 

• Solutions:

  • Before you choose to store things “for now,” research the cost of storage and ensure the value of your belongings supports the expense--(If they're things you can live without for now, maybe you can just live without them)

  • Ask the kids before your store

  • Have the yard sale before you store

  • Decide up front how much money (months) you want to invest and make plans to empty your unit by the date you determine

  • Create a list of things you'd rather spend your money on than storing stuff

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If you’ve already invested more than enough in storage costs and are looking for help emptying your unit, visit my blog “What’s behind door #1213?” or contact me (559) 871-3314. 

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Whether your life is an organizational nightmare, or you're simply looking for some tips to help you fine-tune things, this course provides practical tools to establish order and regain control of your home, office, and life. Topics include:

• What to do with the endless paper flow

• Organizing your space

• How to manage your time

Instructor, Brenda McElroy, is a Board Certified Professional Organizer with NAPO and owns her own business Organized By Choice. 

You can take the steps necessary to experience the freedom of life beyond clutter and chaos. 

February 2, 9, and 16, 2023

Three-night course 6:30 - 8:30 PM

1452 David E Cook Way Clovis, CA 93611

For more info: call (559) 327-2876 or visit cloviscommunityed.com

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Wise Words

If you can live without it—do! -Brenda McElroy

A Concord Christmas

“Peace on earth.” How’s that going for you this holiday season? According to Webster, peace is a “a state of concord or tranquility.” Concord isn’t a word we use every day. One definition is “a simultaneous occurrence of two or more musical tones that produces an impression of agreeableness.”

It doesn’t take a musician to identify when multiple notes don’t belong together. Instead of harmony there is discord, and it can set you on edge. It does, however, take a musician to figure out which notes belong together. Some people have that natural talent. Others learn to identify it to create musical harmony.

There are many ways to enhance a state of concord during the holiday season. If you’re not one for whom being organized comes naturally, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a stressful season. Here are five Timely Tips to blend for a peaceful - concord Christmas.

Photo by freestocks.org: (pexels.com)

Simplify-- You can’t do it all. Don’t try.

• One way we simplified is with a tradition of going to PF Chang’s for our family Christmas dinner. We enjoy the experience and I love spending less time creating a menu, grocery shopping, preparing food, setting tables, and cleaning up.

• Other families simplify by opting for a family trip or combining gift money to donate to a charity in lieu of exchanging gifts. In addition to blessing someone less fortunate, this cuts down on shopping and wrapping and prevents after Christmas clutter and chaos due to more stuff to store.

Photo by Tijana Drndarski (unplash.com)

Don’t Recreate the Wheel

• Take a photo of each room/area you decorate. Give it a caption on your phone so you can easily find it next year. When you take down your décor at the end of the season, store things in bins according to their location. Use the photo to recreate your décor next year.

• Unless your creative nature doesn’t allow it, repeat successful holiday meal menus and consumable gift ideas. It’s like playing the same carols you’ve already learned on the piano instead of struggling with a new one each year. Concord.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska: (pexels.com)

Set Limits

• Putting limits on the number of activities brings concord to your Christmas. This is different for everyone. Just because your neighbor is off to a cookie exchange Saturday morning, a carriage ride in the afternoon, and neighborhood caroling in the evening doesn’t mean that’s right for you. Respectfully decline gift exchanges or activities that put you over the edge.

• Limit the dollar amount for your gift-giving list. If done correctly, this enables you to know when you’re done shopping and keeps you out of debt. Another concord moment.

Photo by energepic.com: (pexels.com)

Make a Plan-- For me the biggest stressor is feeling like I’m running behind. Christmas always seems to come so fast.

• The best way to combat that stress is to plan ahead. When you get your 2023 calendar, assign dates for the preparation (decorating, shopping, baking) and activities that are a priority for you. Life may get in the way, but at least you’ll have a list on your calendar of things that you know bring concord to your Christmas.

Photo by Susanne Jutzeler, suju-foto (pexels.com)

Lasting Peace-- I’m sitting in a coffee shop. To my left are two women, heads bowed and hands joined. In this busy holiday season, they are choosing concord. Jesus came into this world to live, die, and resurrect to life so that we can have peace with God, the Father, and with one another. May you know the lasting peace that only comes through Him.

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wise words

"For he himself is our peace..." The Apostle Paul (Ephesians 2:14)

To Grandmother's House We Go

The other day I had a group of long-time friends over. As we sat down for a meal one said, “This feels like home.” I loved hearing that. Yes, my house is organized, but the best compliment I get is when people feel at home here.

One of the reasons she said that is because of the familiarity of our house. We’ve been here almost 43 years. For those who have moved multiple times, it can be comforting to go to a place that feels familiar. It feels like home.

As we anticipate hosting Thanksgiving gatherings, what are some ways we can make real the words of the song, “There’s no place like home for the holidays?” Even if you’ve recently moved, here are some Timely Tips to bring the familiar, or even “start the familiar” that will make your house and holidays feel like home.

Timely Tips to make your house feel like home (for the holidays)

Photo by Anna Tukhfatullina Food Photographer/Stylist:(pexels.com)

Traditional Decorations: As I look around, most of my Thanksgiving decorations are from long ago. There are even a couple wooden Mayflower ships my girls made back in…well, let’s just say many years ago. Thanksgiving décor doesn’t tend to be trendy and need not be excessive, so having a few things that come out every fall enhances the familiar feel.

Photo by Element5 Digital: (pexels.com)

Traditional Foods: Some of our Thanksgiving favorites are turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, zweibach (a traditional German dinner roll), olives (for the fingers of the little ones), pumpkin pies, chocolate pies, and freshly whipped cream.

Your favorites and traditions may be different. Maybe trying a new dish each year is a tradition for you. In any case, sharing familiar flavors is a way of connecting with the past and with each other, making it feel like home.

Traditional Activities: Prior to Thanksgiving we like to have our grandchildren for a day of fall activities. I look online for simple crafts and games and prep them ahead of time. I put the titles of each activity on a piece of paper in a basket and the grandkids take turns pulling them out to determine what we do next.

Thanksgiving Eve my daughter, Rachel, and I compete to see whose pie crust doesn’t fall apart during baking. We wear the aprons that my grandmas wore back in the 60s.

Thanksgiving morning the Macy’s parade is on as we make preparations. During or after the feast we share what we’re thankful for and take time to thank the Lord who provided those blessings.

Weather permitting, we play Bocce Ball or take a walk around the neighborhood. And, we play Thanksgiving Bingo.

Maybe your traditions include watching the football game, using grandma’s china, looking through old family photos, doing a craft, watching “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving,” or reminiscing about loved ones who have passed.

If your family of origin didn’t have traditions, or they were more along the line of arguing about politics, be intentional about choosing a couple activities that build a connection between those you’re celebrating with. As you have opportunity to host again, establish the good ones as traditions.

Traditional Gifts: I love that Thanksgiving is one holiday without the added pressure of gift giving, but here’s a gift idea that can connect generations using traditional décor. As my parents continue to downsize, they’ve come across holiday decorations they’re no longer using. This Thanksgiving, they’re giving each great-granddaughter a corn husk doll from their decorations bin. Maybe it’s time I pass along the Mayflower ships too…nah!

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wise words

"...always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." The Apostle Paul

Good Intentions to Priceless Results

This morning I got word that my husband’s last uncle passed away. Two days ago, we attended the Celebration of Life service for a 59-year-old man we did ministry with. Last month a good friend’s father died. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.”

Death stops us in our tracks—literally and figuratively. Literally when it is our turn, we no longer walk with those on earth. Figuratively, when it happens to those around us it causes us pause and, at least for a moment, we take to heart our own mortality.

Why should we take this to heart and what does it have to do with being organized? Sandra Felton of Messies Anonymous said, “Organizing is not nearly as important as many other things in life, but what it delivers is often priceless.”

For the young widow whose husband handled the bills and paperwork, being left with a simple system and organized files is priceless. For the adult children of deceased parents, inheriting a home that does not take hours and hours of sorting, trashing, and donating is priceless.

Taking to heart our own mortality gives rise to an assessment of priorities.When leaving a funeral, we’re not hoping to spend more time watching sitcoms before it’s our time to go. We may be thinking of things we haven’t yet done—bucket list, creating a will/trust, gathering important documents, or purging excess belongings. We may be thinking of relationships to invest in or restore.

What do you want in life? That’s an important question considering we all have an expiration date. In Organizing for the Creative Person authors Dorothy Lehmkuhl and Dolores Cotter Lamping say, “Good time management means doing activities you regard as important to achieving what you want in life.”

Unfortunately, when we consider something important, it doesn’t automagically happen. Here are four Timely Tips to transform your good intentions to priceless reality.

Timely Tips

Photo by RODNAE Productions: (pexels.com)

Identify one thing that is of high importance to you. Create a specific goal based on that value. For instance, maybe preserving memories is of high importance to you. Your goal may be to organize your photos and create a photo book for your child, vacation, or year. Or maybe your goal is creating a video of your grandparents sharing memories.

Break down your goal into steps. In this scenario, if you’re dealing with hard copy photos, your first step would be to gather your photos, then purge and sort in categories based on your end goal. If your goal is a video, your first step may be creating a list of questions for your grandparents to respond to.

Schedule specific time on your calendar to work on each identified step. You may want to schedule two hours every Thursday night, or an hour once a week on your day off. Whatever it is, write it on your calendar and protect it like you would a doctor or repairman appointment. Don’t bounce around to other projects during your scheduled sessions and stay on track with the order of steps you’ve outlined.

Celebrate each step’s completion and designate a special reward for completing the goal.

When extra help is needed
Some goals require additional help. If yours is restoring a relationship, some counseling may be in order. If yours is creating a will or trust, you’ll want to connect with an attorney. If you’re sorting and purging your entire house, a professional organizer can decrease the overwhelm and guide the process.

If yours is preparing for what comes after that final goodbye, I recommend reading the Gospel of John in the Bible. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

wise words

Time is not refundable. Use it with intention. --Madi Parkinson

Bridge the Gap

We’ve all heard that blondes have more fun, but do organized people have more fun? Think about this: what’s more fun, spending $75/month on renting storage space or going out to dinner once a week? What’s more fun, spending a ½ an hour looking for your keys or purse, or reading a good book?

While most would answer going out to dinner and reading, statistics show that many lifestyle choices result in a more stressful existence. That’s not fun.

The National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals survey showed that 65 percent of respondents noted that their household was at least moderately disorganized and 71 percent said their quality of life would improve if they were better organized.

There seems to be a disconnect between believing that being organized is a better way of life and actually doing it. So, how do we bridge that gap?

Boundaries. If you’re visiting the tigers at the zoo, you’re very aware of the benefit of boundaries. Boundaries also enhance your experience in sports, relationships, time management, and finances. At times we perceive boundaries as restrictive or cumbersome, but they spare us from stress, injury, heartache, and loss.

The same is true for boundaries in organization. They minimize anxiety and frustration. Here are a few common boundary pushers and some Timely Tips on how to combat them.

Timely Tips for boundaries

Photo by Ryutaro Tsukata (pexels.com)

Collectibles:
Years ago, a client began collecting Hummel figurines. For each birthday she received more. What was once a joy, became a burden as she struggled to cram them into closets and keep the multitudes on display dust-free.

Setting boundaries for a collection means to:

• Decide how much space you want to allot to it

• Choose your favorites that will comfortably fit in that space

• Release the rest

• Give yourself permission to let people know you have reached your limit and offer some alternative suggestions for gifts like a gift certificate for a massage or dinner out, in other words, something you don’t have to store

Backup Supplies:
One woman emailed asking what to do with all the backup supplies that were spilling out all over her floor. She said she saves money by buying in bulk and stocking up when things are on sale.

Living beyond our means when it comes to our space comes with a cost. She was stressed with the clutter it was causing.

• Designate a specific space for backup supplies. It can be even a bedroom closet, or shelf in the garage, as long as it's a designated and defined area

• Honor that boundary and wait to purchase more until there’s room for it

• Find someone to split the large quantity sales and supplies with--win, win!

Left-over Containers: Chances are you have more containers for left-overs than you have left-overs to put in them. They take up valuable kitchen space and cause stress when rummaging through a stuffed cabinet or drawer trying to match a lid to a container.

• Determine how many you actually need and use

• Match that number of lids and containers

• Let go of the rest

• Resist saving every lunchmeat container, just in case

Toys:
It’s easy for a home with young children to become overrun with toys. Just like you have rules about where food is allowed, you can set boundaries for toys.

• Designate specific rooms/areas for play and those that are not for play

• Establish cleanup boundaries-- like placing toys in designated bins every night before bedtime (the more frequent, the smaller the mess)

• For outdoor bikes and scooters, “draw” a parking boundary with colored duct tape in the garage or patio

• Maintain the amount of toys that fit comfortably in the designated storage areas (one in, one out)

wise words

Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives. --Henry Cloud

Nail the Landing

I was never more thankful for air traffic controllers than when visiting our son and family while they lived near LAX. It’s fun watching the huge airliners make their approach knowing they have an exact spot assigned. Imagine if landing planes was a willy-nilly activity without an intentional system. As the plane descends, the pilot chooses the first flat surface he sees and says, “I’ll just put this here, for now.”

Sound a little familiar? Flat surfaces beg for things to land on them and we, willy-nilly comply thinking it’s “just for now.” While the results may not be a matter of life or death, it’s often a matter of peace or chaos.

The biggest contributors to piles on our counters, tables, etc. are things that need a temporary home. Unfortunately, we don’t have a control tower advising us on where to land what’s in our hand. If the cost of your clutter (stress, wasted time, strained relationships) isn't worth the benefit of randomly landing stuff on the first flat surface you see, then it’s time for an intentional system.

Set aside aspirations of a Pinterest perfect outcome. That, can stop you in your tracks. Let go of the idea that you’re leaving things out so you can see them—you can’t. Follow these simple Timely Tips to nail your landings.

Timely Tips to nail your landings

Papers
As you sort through your piles, you’ll find papers that you didn’t put away because they need action. Get an open topped bin/basket (at least 12”x9”x5”) and label it “ACTION PAPERS.”

This is also where you can process mail, but if at any point the bin is full, then it’s time to get busy and take action!

There are, of course, more complicated systems, but now, you have just ONE PLACE to look for any papers needing action. The rest—shred, recycle, or file in a file cabinet.

Projects
Label another bin “PROJECTS.” Place only the projects from your piles that will fit comfortably in the bin and that you plan to do within the month.

Make a list of too large and overflow projects. Place the list in the bin with a note saying where they are being stored. Relocate the overflow projects to the designated closet or cabinet.

Now, you have a manageable project load and just TWO PLACES to look when searching for a project.

In ‘n Out
The third temporary home is for the items strewn about that come and go with you—purses, wallets, backpacks, keys, etc. Install hooks near the door for the items that can hang.

For other items, use another open topped bin. Be vigilant about using it only for “In ‘n Out” items--sunglasses, library books, dry cleaning, things to return to stores, or take to the office. Place it near the door. Now you have just ONE AREA to look for and store your “In ‘n Out” items.

Shine your flat surfaces and celebrate each time you nail a landing—you’ve earned it.

wise words

Picture your dream home. I bet it’s not filled with clutter.
― Joshua Becker

"Looks like you're working out"

Men don’t know how easy that have it. While curling my hair, this message appeared on my Apple watch, “Looks like you’re working out. Record workout?” Unfortunately, “Curling Hair” isn’t on the list with Walking, Swimming, Running, etc. But thank you Apple for acknowledging the effort.

Along with the physical investment getting ready in the morning, there’s equipment and products that, if left unchecked, can overtake the bathroom cabinets and counter. Without suitable set-up and maintenance, it can be frustrating to find and access things you need amongst those you don’t. Let’s look at three steps to streamline your bathroom space and routine.

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Timely Tips to get your bathroom in shape

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich (Pexels.com)

Step 1—PURGE
Yes, it’s always step one. There are no-brainers like empty toothpaste tubes, unpackaged cotton balls in hair-lined drawers, broken hair clips, used tissues, etc. Toss them and other obvious trash.

Then, there are the hair, make up, and skin products you purchased two years ago, stopped using, but haven’t tossed because you spent so much money on them. Toss them too. Remember, you’re choosing between having the space they occupy and being reminded of the wasted money each time you bypass those products for the ones you currently use.

Hair equipment tends to cycle in phases—hot rollers, crimpers, curling irons, flat irons, wands, etc. At my house, the hot rollers keep coming back, while a crimper not so much. Let go of the equipment that does things to hair that you don’t want to ever do again. Separate what you’re currently using from things you might want to cycle back to.

Determine a reasonable criterion for keeping beauty gadgets. Does it live up to its promise? Do you use it regularly? If not often, is it earning its keep for the space it’s occupying?

If you discover you have an abundance of backup supplies, consider sharing some with a homeless shelter.

Step 2—CREATE HOMES
Clean the drawers, shelves, counters, under the sink, and organizing containers. Group things you’re keeping into categories—hair, make up, skin, tooth supplies, etc.

If drawer and cabinet space is limited, consider an over-the toilet shelving unit or cabinet. This is a great spot for feminine products and extra toilet paper. Over-the-door organizers can hold frequently used supplies. There are wall mount racks to store clean rolled towels and glass wall shelves that can hold and display perfumes and skincare products. A slim rolling cart can store frequently used items and be rolled to a corner when not in use.

From each category pull the items you use daily or at least multiple times per week. These items deserve prime real estate—top drawers and/or an acrylic organizer that can be used on the counter and then stored in a cabinet when not in use. Use drawer dividers and designate a home for each item.

Store less-used items in lower drawers or add drawers under the sink or in cabinets for easy access. Keep categories defined by separating them in labeled containers.

Assign your back-up supplies a specific place/container so you know where to look before purchasing more.

Photo by Pixabay (Pexels.com)

Step 3—MAINTAIN
Repeat after me, “Don’t put it down, put it away.” This is huge. Once your space is organized, take a mental (or real) picture and decide that when you leave the bathroom each morning, that is how it will look. When everything has a home and you do it daily, it’s only a two-minute job at most.

Organizing is never a one-and-done project. New things will come into the bathroom, others will stop being used, and things will get messy. Whenever you notice your storage areas getting cramped or counters getting cluttered, it’s time for a tune-up. You may not get Apple Watch workout credits, but you will benefit when your bathroom’s in good shape.

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comical words

No job is finished until the paperwork is done.

Happiness Inside

“Happiness inside.” Yesterday I saw this slogan printed on the side of an Amazon truck. As a Prime member, I order my share of “happiness.” Most times though, I pick up the box from the porch struggling to remember what I ordered. Among those boxes there’s a small percentage of things that truly bring happiness.

My husband, being the fun grandpa he is, ordered a zipline for our backyard. It brings happiness to the observing parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents as well as to our granddaughters who swing through the air squealing with delight.

In some cases the shopping experience itself causes more happiness than the items purchased. In the online article, “Why Retail ‘Therapy’ Makes You Feel Happier,” clinical psychologist Scott Bea, PsyD. says, “Research suggests there’s actually a lot of psychological and therapeutic value when you’re shopping — if done in moderation, of course.”

He explains that even just browsing, scrolling online or window shopping, can release dopamine, the neurotransmitter in our brain known as the “happy hormone.” In that case it’s more about the anticipation of the reward than the purchase itself.

For those feeling down about circumstances beyond their control, choosing something to buy and making a purchase can boost the mood by restoring a sense of control and autonomy.

Retail therapy also provides a distraction from difficulties in life. “The smell of something new, the bright lights and colorful displays combine to create an imaginative, sensory experience that can remove us from our own reality, even for a little while,” says Dr. Bea.

As with many activities, shopping therapy has the capacity to boost happiness, but can also pull you down. Here are 6 Timely Tips to stay in control.

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Timely Tips to stay in control

1. Box build up. Online ordering spiked with the advent of Covid. In addition to items we buy for pleasure or gifts, many of our staples are delivered as well.

• Choose the Amazon delivery option that gets your orders together in fewer boxes. 

• Designate a place for packages waiting to be opened other than the entryway to your home. The laundry room or entry closet keeps them close, but not cluttering your living space. 

• Store a box cutter in the same area and take time to break down the boxes and place them in a recycle bin whenever you open a package.

• Most Amazon returns don’t require the box, but if you need to keep it, store the box broken down and folded in the garage. Apply a sticky note saying what it was for and the date, so you know when to discard it. 

2. No room for more stuff. 

• Ask yourself, “Do I have space for this right now?” If your rooms, cabinets, and closets are already maxed, happiness from your purchase will be short-lived when you have to cram it into an already crowded area. 

• Make space first. That usually means letting go of unused items, not adding on to the house. 

Photo by Pixabay (Pexels.com)

3. No funds to cover it. If it’s going on a credit card that’s not getting paid off each month, the happiness from the purchase only lasts as long as it takes to get the bill.

• Save up for your purchase. You can prolong the joy of anticipation when you wait until you have the money to purchase it. 

4. Monthly subscriptions. These can be fun and useful, but if you have a backlog of makeup, craft supplies, or other monthly subscription items, they easily become clutter and burdensome instead of a blessing.

• Cancel, use up what you have, and evaluate the benefit verses cost ($ and space) before re-subscribing. 

Photo by Karolina Grabowska (Pexels.com)

5. Impulse Buying. With ads continually popping up, it can be hard not to go down the rabbit hole and end up with something you had no intention of buying.

• Leave items in the cart overnight. If, in the morning, you decide not to buy it, you got the dopamine from the search without the stress of paying for and storing it. Win. Win.

Photo by Mikhail Nilov (Pexels.com)

6. Compulsive Buying. For about 5% of shoppers, shopping goes beyond retail therapy and buying what is needed. If you find yourself continually buying multiples and things you don’t need, purchasing items outside your budget, being secretive or feeling guilty about purchases, and neglecting work/family responsibilities to shop needlessly, consider talking with a mental health professional.

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comical words

I wish retail therapy was covered by my health insurance. —Unknown

Timing is Everything

On Mother’s Day I received a journal titled “Daily Kairos.” Not being a Greek scholar, I opened the journal to discover the meaning of kairos-- “The suitable or appropriate time for something to occur or for something to be accomplished.”

Why is timing so important? Think for a moment about what happens when we don’t use the “suitable or appropriate time” for things like sorting the mail, paying the bills, grocery shopping, changing the oil, making a phone call, or completing continuing education units. At the least, consequences include things piling up or cramming tasks together. On the critical side, missing deadlines can cost money, career opportunities, and wreak havoc in relationships. The common theme is more stress.

Kairos is a stress reducer, albeit annoying and inconvenient at times. Just now, I heard the washing machine inform me it’s finished with its load. The suitable time for me to put it into the dryer is now. If I don’t, the next three loads won’t get done today. Of course, that wouldn’t be the end of the world, but today I’m home and putting it off means cramming laundry into a busier day. So, I’m getting up, starting another load, and rewarding myself with a cup of coffee-flavored creamer.

Besides not wanting to get up off a chair, what’s keeping us from using kairos and what can we do to enhance our usage? Let’s look at three common scenarios.

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1. We fail to deliberately schedule things for a suitable or appropriate time.

For the first few years of my business, I scheduled clients Monday through Saturday, as needed. However, I failed to schedule specific office time for writing my article, doing my QuickBooks, etc. I wasn’t always booked solid, but not having scheduled time for office work meant it was often pushed aside. Now, Mondays are my office day with few exceptions.

Many people are working from home these days and without the structure of an office environment, it can be easy to push aside work or home tasks. Setting a schedule for each is key to getting things done.

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2. We’re not realistic about the time tasks will require.

We put things off because we think they will take forever and get overwhelmed, or because we think we’ll be able to zip through and get it done. It’s important to have an appropriate estimation of the amount of time it will take and that requires some planning.

The COVID shutdown created time for me to stock up on CEUs for my re-certification. Next time around, I’ll need to determine and schedule the number of hours it will take per month to complete the requirement.

Consider tracking the amount of time various tasks take. That will enhance your ability to schedule them for a suitable and appropriate time.

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3. We don’t have a routine set up for success.

So many of my clients have experienced transitions that took them from order to disorder. When life changes, we sometimes think we should still be able to do things the same way we used to, but we can’t.

Maybe you always processed your mail right after dinner, but now you have kids and there are baths, homework, and stories to read. The mail gets stacked on the counter until company comes, and then gets bagged and put into a closet. The more suitable time for processing mail may now be right after the kids go down.

Creating a daily routine at the appropriate time reduces stress and disorder. The suitable time may be linked to an already established routine that will be more easily remembered.

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Wise Words

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Hurricanes and Hoarding

Devastate (Merriam-Webster):

1. To bring to ruin or desolation by violent action

2. To reduce to chaos, disorder, helplessness

Hurricanes and hoarding devastate in those terms, in that respective order. 

Similarities:

• Neither is respective of socio-economic status, education, race, ethnicity, culture, or political views.

• A hurricane can render a home unsafe for habitation. Hoarding reduces order to chaos causing health and safety issues. 

• Both experience pain over the loss of treasured belongings.

• Both require supportive teams to rebuild or regain control.

• Structural changes are required in rebuilding after a hurricane to ensure future stability. Behavioral changes are required to promote lasting change in hoarding environments. 

Differences:

• Hurricane forces instantly create piles of rubble. Hoarding takes place over time, creating what appears to be piles of rubbish. 

• A hurricane victim looks desperately for help to fix the situation. A person who hoards may not acknowledge there's a problem at all.

• One of the most unfortunate differences is the response of those around them. The hurricane victim is surrounded by compassionate support. For many who hoard, the response they encounter is disgust, judgement, and criticism. 

Understanding more can benefit those dealing with compulsive hoarding and those who care about them.

Few people with hoarding disorder reach out for help. They find satisfaction and comfort in the process of bringing more into their homes, even when it begins to encroach upon living spaces and render stoves, tubs, toilets, halls, and rooms unusable. Some who want to stop find it nearly impossible no matter how hard they try.

The distress of discarding a piece of string or even a used paper plate can equal that of letting go of a sentimental gift from a loved one. Without recognizing this aspect, it's easy for friends and family to misinterpret reluctance to clean up as laziness or being unappreciative of an offer to help "take out the trash."

David Dudley, in Conquering Clutter Jan/Feb 2007, said of working with his dad, "What I didn't understand until it was much too late was that the objects going out the door were not objects at all. Often the items that had been used the least were the hardest to throw out, symbolizing not fond memory, but never-tapped potential. They were, as my father said while I hauled off a nearly new portable gas grill, 'artifacts of unused life.'"

People with hoarding disorder have a creative gift of seeing potential in everything they collect. Arguing with them about keeping something that appears of no value to you, can solidify their commitment to it as they make their case for keeping it.

The conflict between a person who compulsively hoards and the one concerned for his health and safety can be devastating to the relationship. Creating change by force or threatening a call to the authorities has potential for ending the relationship.

Approach with an attitude of compassion and understanding. Digging Out--Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding, and Compulsive Acquiring, by Michael A. Tompkins, Ph.D. and Tamara L. Hartl, Ph.D. provides steps for gradual and lasting change. Not saying it's easy, by any means, but it's a good resource.

If you think you're dealing with compulsive hoarding yourself, there is hope. As with any change, the reason to change must outweigh the reason for not changing. Start with a serious look at your values. Is your home supporting what's most important to you?

A helpful resource for personal change is Buried in Treasures--Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding, by David F. Tolin, Ph.D., Randy O. Frost Ph.D., and Gail Steketee Ph.D. The authors also recommend seeking mental health care from a professional. For some, treating comorbidities such as depression, inattention, or anxiety is necessary in the process.

Clutter itself does not equal compulsive hoarding. Many of the people I work with have clutter, but a very small percentage have a hoarding disorder. For clarification on the difference between compulsive hoarding and other clutter issues, visit IOCDF.org.

We don't yet have ways to prevent hurricanes or cure compulsive hoarding, but together we can decrease the devastation.

Wise Words

I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don't. --Neila Rey